This watch is bugging me. The sleeves of my qurta are long and nobody but me sees it… but I know it’s there. And even though I’ve convinced myself that the reason I’m wearing it is to tell the time, deep down I think I know the real reason. It’s the same reason I do my hair every day. Yes, I still do it. Don’t you judge me.
I’m fighting the process. Resisting the intervention. Desperately clinging to little secrets that make me feel like I’m not selling myself out. Nobody will fucking see my hair. I know this. My watch is more a piece of jewellery representing my dire desire for flash than a functional means to measure time. I know this. Yet here I sit in class, cleverly concealing it from plain sight as if this somehow made my project authentic. Who am I kidding, really?
Anyway I’m having trouble analyzing people’s reactions towards me in my new, anti-Riez persona. That’s purely because I haven’t been seeing many people, to be honest. I wake up early, hide from my family as I get dressed (are you still judging me??), rush off to campus (which we’ve established as an inconclusive context), have class until late afternoon then go home and get undressed before anyone sees me. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry. I intend to show them. Promise.
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